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( JULY )

Greetings from Ohio. I came up for two different family reunions. Well, one "Cousin's Day" and the other is a cookout because they were looking for an excuse to have one, and since I was coming up and no one has seen me in years, a lot of different subgroups of the family are coming together (so in other words, a "family reunion" but only one of them was planned years in advance!

Don't forget to read, comment and vote for your favorites?  therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1188979.html

The trip so far has been nice at points, but emotionally rough. Definitely some difficult insights into family dynamics. 

Such as, it turns out that yes, my Dad IS just weirdly distant from the kids, family and pretty much everyone.  But he *specifically* doesn't like me and doesn't want to talk to me because he "can't understand a word (I) say" and is embarrassed by me. (Due to my stutter) Found that out from my siblings after they were drinking a lot and speaking candidly about the issues in the family. One of them had the courage to say it out loud (after I said that I was positive my Dad didn't like me) and no one contradicted him. Maybe I can finally stop trying to gain his approval!  It's just one more reason to be glad that I started therapy and have a session that afternoon I get back (Tuesday) 

***

How has YOUR week/weekend been going?  Hopefully all of you are positive that I want to kick you!!! Because I do. 

A few words from clauderainsrm:

The population of our castle keeps shrinking, and the Killer(s) haven’t even claimed their first victim yet! Unfortunately before the poll even opens, we are losing 3 contestants who are out of byes:i0ne impoetry matsushima


That is always an awful way to go out, but it’s even more the case when it comes to Week 3 bye outs, because that means we haven’t even gotten the chance to read anything from them! Hopefully they will consider Home Game-ing until the Wheel offers another shot to get back into the game!

We also have a drop. Per the wheel, this particular drop WILL be counted toward the total of contestants leaving us this week!

Goodbye to used_songs . You will be missed! I hope you are able to make it back in at a later point! And yes, before anyone asks- the Nullifer went out as well.

The Wheel also said that 2 contestants would be leaving this week - which means that there will be *1* contestant leaving (thanks to the drop)

The poll closes Tuesday, July 15th at 8pm ET.

Good luck to everyone!

 flipflop_diva  has used her reward to give someone the antidote!  Did she save a life or did that precious elixir go to waste?  I guess we will start finding out in the coming weeks!!

***

But before we get to the regularly scheduled voting and polls, there is still the matter of YOU, the Idol contestants, and your attempt to stop this/these horrible Killer(s) from their murderous plots!

There was slightly more concentration of votes this time around, with fewer named suspects.  (only 8 as opposed to 13 last time) But, by a slight margin, one name came out on top. 

The Idolers formally accuse inkstainedfingertips of being a KIller!!!

Music makes me happy. It always has…or very nearly so. Sadly, I am not talented when it comes to creating music, and have tried my hand at several different instruments over the years. In middle school it was the alto clarinet. I had a brief tryst with a violin during fifth grade, and of course who didn’t make music—and I use that term loosely—on the requisite recorder during our earliest school years?

If you didn’t have that pleasure, I can assure you, you didn’t miss much.

Even so, only one instrument in all my fifty-plus years ever got me into trouble, and made not only myself but my entire family unhappy. You, dear reader, would be hard pressed to guess what item had the dubious honor of causing such a ruckus, so I’ll just tell you. ( Read more... )

Ecco (here it is), from the Latin ecce or eccum, is about presenting a person, thing, or idea and inviting you to perceive it at the very moment it appears.

___________________________________________________________________________________

It's coming.

The darkness.

A summer sunset.

End-of-the-day rays of sunlight filter through thick cloud and caress my face as I sit in the car with the windows down, filling me with a short lived feeling of warmth, before the cloud sweeps past, briefly blocking the dissipating light.

The golden, pink and peach splashes that painted the sky are slowly but surely evaporating.

The afternoon bleeding into evening.

Night waiting patiently around the corner to kill the last remains of the day.

In the still August air I light a cigarette, inhaling the toxins before breathing them back out and watching as the curling smoke poisoned the air around me.

Carbon monoxide mingling with oxygen and nitrogen.

Evening has always been my least favorite part of a day.

Something about it, and watching the sun dip below the horizon has always felt like a loss of hope.

It's always been intertwined with death.

(Ever since the day I learned what mortality is, as I witnessed a bird get shot and plummet, backlit by a setting sun when I was three. A hell of a first memory).

When I learned that the earth's natural state was darkness, that made sense to me.

It still does, literally and metaphorically.

Neither can exist without the other.

Both offer solace in their own ways, yet neither are completely safe.

There can be no light without darkness, no darkness without light.

That is something I have grown to recognize in everything.

Including myself.

Metaphorically, the darkness that dwells in my mind and my memories, my dark side so to speak, is something I can't escape from.

Those things are along for the ride with the light parts, whether I like it or not.

It's just that I'm tired now.

I grew tired of running from them and myself a long time ago, and chose awareness instead, because unlike some people I've known, I've never really mastered the art of denial.

I've always had a debilitating fear of void like spaces, and I can't sleep without some light.

On the other hand though, I love the night.

Everything feels magical, being awake and active during the night always feels like being part of another world.

At night, guards are let down, instincts are acted upon.

Everything is infinite.

Or feels it.

Until the sun rises, dawn melts into day and the light returns.

The same light that can be a smokescreen for me.

An illusion of comfort meant to render us unaware of the visible shadows and shady corners that lengthen steadily as the hour grows later and races towards the inevitable.

(When I remember how the bird dropped, a dead weight, the thing that stands out most in my mind's eye is the blazing sun at its hottest as it dipped closer to the horizon casting light on the way the bullet tore through the bird's body).


Despite my fear of those void like spaces, the sense of apprehension they bring, the dark of the night can be an ironically cathartic hiding place for those who are cognizant of thing they sometimes wish they weren't.

A dog barks in the distance, its haunting echo pulling me out of my thoughts.

With the sun's retreat, the street is beginning to come alive again since I wandered off into the maze that is my mind.

I cast a glance towards the sky, which is now devoid of color.

It's a moonless night.

(Just like the night I was born).

It's here.

"Now it's dark," I think and my eyes meet my own in the rear view mirror,

___________________________________________________________________________________

non-fiction

I'm part Italian, so I was excited to see the prompt for this week. I wanted to tackle it both literally and re symbolism. This is a memory of me watching a sunset in someone's car during a seriously horrible time of my life.

"Now it's dark." is a quote from one of my favorite movies, Blue Velvet (1986), directed by the legendary David Lynch. It is a line repeated by an antagonist and its meaning is that of being comfortable with the darkness in yourself. This resonated with me from when I saw it. Obviously I refer to memories of trauma and PTSD here and that is how it resonated with me, whereas the movie antagonist definitely had some worse issues lol, but the point is the same.

I was indeed born on a moonless night. Forever envious of those born under a full moon!

 The new prompt is up:  therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1188144.html

Which means the results and twist (or in this case, non-twist) are also up:    therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1187739.html  and therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1188073.html

***

I've been thinking a lot lately about compatibility when it comes to love languages.   For those of you will partners - what are you, and what are they? 

My "love language" is Acts of Terror.  That's how I show my feelings, by unleashing absolute terror onto people, usually to force them to write!  Sometimes this is accompanied by "Acts of Violence, Specifically Kicking" 

 *spins wheel* 

*Looks at what was selected* 

*tries to remember the circumstance that led to it being added, fails*  *Looks up what it means*  *still no clue, but now agrees that Past Gary was right to add it* 

The Prompt for Week 3 is 


ECCO 

It's an Italian word, so I'm linking a site to a definition (since all of the English ones were leading to a company with that name!) italian.yabla.com/lesson-Ecco-An-Ancient-and-Useful-Adverb-703

As always, the prompt is a springboard for your creativity. 

So go have fun!

The deadline to link your entry back to this thread is Wednesday July 9th at 7pm ET. 

 I consulted the wheel to see if there would be a twist this week... and it said NO. 

So this week has no special twist.  

You do however have one more chance for you to try to find the Killer(s) before they poison anyone else!   Remember to send me your guess on the identity of a killer by the deadline for the prompt.  

I just realized I never posted this last night!  :D 

 In the dead of night, the Killer(s) have poisoned another contestant!  Who is it? Is it you??? 

The good news is that flipflop_diva had the most votes this week, which means she will be deciding how to hand out the antidote! Maybe she will be able to save someone... 

***

Now for the other news, even though at several points I thought it was going to be a decent-sized tie, in the end there were two contestants who ended up with the fewest votes: 

adoptedwriter   and kizzy 


The idea that either of them could be going home in Week 2 of any season is absolutely insane to me. But with all of the byes, and the will of the Wheel, that is exactly what is happening!!

I hope you both will be hanging out and Home Gaming, until the Wheel spins in the favor of letting you back in for your revenge!!  


***


In better news, there are TWO  Nullifiers that are coming into the game thanks to this week's twist.  Reminder - a Nullifier can negate a twist OR the result from any given week between now and the Top 5. The contestants who received them (it was a tie)   are fausts_dream and used_songs ! Congratulations!