01 August 2024 @ 12:14 am
LJ Idol Mini Season, Uncanny Valley  
A silence lives there which hangs in the air
a cloak of despair made for each soldier to wear
A sough wind sighs unspoken words in weary eyes
And wasted youth dies for long forgotten lies
They stagnate in cloying mud
Ingrained with veins of brotherly blood

This silence mid the shells and frenzied yells
tolling death knells in private hells,
Lives far away from the battle’s affrays
In memories of halcyon summer days
Where lovers’ lips sweet words impart
And home fires burn inside the heart

Carnage all around, they hear no sound
As heartbeats pound in bodies bound
In chains of fear, on hell’s frontier
death lurking near haunting fields so drear
the night turns bleak and bitter with cold
they stand resolute, so staunch and bold


And ask themselves one question,’’ Why?
Why is this the place we have to die?
As they walk through the valley
of the shadow of death
They know they soon will draw their last breath.


Note: I love to write poetry, but have only ever written it once here the only other time I participated.
This prompt spoke to me and I wanted to reverse it as rather than something which is unreal being disturbing, something that is real and so terrible it seems unreal. For me, wars are one of these things. Thanks for reading.
 
 
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adoptedwriter[personal profile] adoptedwriter on July 31st, 2024 11:45 pm (UTC)
Just beautiful and bittersweet.
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Dan[personal profile] muchtooarrogant on August 1st, 2024 02:29 am (UTC)
Wars definitely seem unreal with the horrors they create.

Dan
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xeena.[personal profile] xeena on August 1st, 2024 05:49 pm (UTC)
this is such a beautiful and heartbreaking description of the fear and trauma so many are forced to endure to fight rich men's wars. disturbing and bittersweet. Wonderful!
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static_abyss[personal profile] static_abyss on August 1st, 2024 08:50 pm (UTC)
I absolutely LOVE this! The rhyming scheme and the imagery. The words you chose for your descriptors. Everything went together so well. Beautifully done!
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mollywheezy[personal profile] mollywheezy on August 1st, 2024 08:56 pm (UTC)
This was beautiful, and I'm really impressed that you managed to write something beautiful and meaningful that also rhymes!
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thephantomq[personal profile] thephantomq on August 1st, 2024 09:05 pm (UTC)
War is ALSO one of those things for me. I just don't understand why.
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n3m3sis43[personal profile] n3m3sis43 on August 1st, 2024 11:45 pm (UTC)
What a cool take on the prompt! Nice work.
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halfshellvenus[personal profile] halfshellvenus on August 2nd, 2024 01:17 am (UTC)
You picked a tight and challenging rhyme scheme for this. Nicely done!
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murielle[personal profile] murielle on August 2nd, 2024 02:14 am (UTC)
Clever take on the prompt. And it's true that times of harshest reality can seem surreal. Good job! 🙂

Edited 2024-08-02 02:15 am (UTC)
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chasing_silver[personal profile] chasing_silver on August 2nd, 2024 09:40 pm (UTC)
So true, war is a very uncanny valley. Thank you for this.
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rayaso[personal profile] rayaso on August 3rd, 2024 03:04 pm (UTC)
Very well done, especially the rhyme scheme. It must have forced you into some very creative word choices.
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erulissedances[personal profile] erulissedances on August 3rd, 2024 03:35 pm (UTC)
Wow ... just WOW. Beautifully crafted in all aspects.

- Erulisse (one L)
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